Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Have you ever been in a situation where you were extremely stressed about solving your problem? Oftentimes, being independent as I am, I always try to solve my problems by myself. As much as possible, I don’t seek help from others as long as I deem it solvable by myself. I always tell myself, “I can do this.” When we try to solve a problem, we look deeper to understand it and eventually find a solution. However, as I focus more on the problem and try to figure it out, the more I get frustrated.
January is my birth month. I wanted to celebrate my birthday with my family and friends. However, the supposed resources for my budget didn’t materialize because of some unexpected circumstances. As my day gets nearer, the more I get perplexed. I started to get worried. I tried to solve my problem my way but couldn’t seem to find a solution. I poured out my anxieties to God. I couldn’t help but cry out of my helplessness. After praying, I come across some motivational videos which say, “seek ye first the kingdom of God (Matthew 6:33).” As I watched more videos from that page, I heard a song with lyrics that say,
“Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full on his wonderful face..
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace…”
My tears were pouring as I realized, how could I be so proud by trying so hard to be self-reliant! God reminded me that instead of focusing on the problem, I need to turn my focus to God. The more you focus on your problems, the more your problem gets magnified, and find yourself overwhelmed. Instead of seeking solutions to your problem, seek God first.
When it dawned upon me, I surrendered to God my problems. God helped me realize that He is in control. That I should not worry if things get out of hand if things didn’t go as planned. God made me understand the deeper meaning of His word when He said, “come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28)”. That night I told God, “Lord, here are my problems, I could not handle it anymore, please take care of it.” I said to myself, I should have surrendered it from the start. After surrendering to God everything, I decided not to care about it anymore because that is how it’s supposed to be. Do not leave any worries for yourself. Give it all to God. Leave it to God. That’s why people say, “Let go and let God.” That night I was able to sleep well. The next morning, lo and behold, a friend of mine messaged me and asked me if I was interested to do a side job. I was amazed at how God has solved my problems. He paved a way for me, and He even gave me more blessings. Blessings overflowed, and so does God’s love and mercy. He gave me more than what I asked for, more than what I expected.
When storms arise, may we not be shaken. May we remember the God, our Father in Heaven who is omniscient and omnipotent. He is our Father who cares for us. I praise God because when I forgot His promises and His instructions, He did not hesitate to remind me that He is my Father who loves me and promised to take care of me.
In this experience, God did not just remind me about His promises, He also taught me how to humble myself in His presence. He taught me that I should put my trust in and on Him, to trust Him completely, with all my heart (Proverbs 3:5-6). That I should not rely on my own strength for I am weak. That I am just a human, a finite being, but I can rest my hope to Him, a God who is also my Father whose wisdom and power are infinite and unmeasurable. A God who can do things that are impossible to man. And, above all, a loving Father who does not want to let His child get astray if he forgets his way.
Out of 160 doctors of Doctors to the Barrios (DTTB) batch 36, who come from different places and universities of the Philippines, I was the only Seventh-day Adventist believer. My journey in undertaking Masters in Public Health degree at the University of the Philippines-Manila was not easy. There were always Saturday classes, and some subjects did not allow me to take special exams, quizzes, or laboratory activities. In fact, I struggled a lot and got worried several times. I know that I am not intelligent enough, and worse, I would miss my academic requirements.
Sabbath should be a peaceful day, yet during my postgraduate days, I had no peace. I was bothered because of Saturday classes. As a matter of fact, there had been many times that I got tempted to attend the said classes, which would mean polluting the Sabbath. In my mind, I was thinking, “Lord, if I would miss my classes and knowing that I am not intelligent, how could I catch up with my lessons and requirements? Should I attend the class instead?” In my confusion, God intervened. He gave me the courage and walked me to church to worship Him. I did not worry about missing the classes anymore. With due respect to my professors, I asked them permission not to attend the classes on Saturdays. And by God’s grace, I was excused. I stopped worrying. I find myself every Saturday morning busy preparing for church while my classmates were busy with the day’s activities.
Thank you, Pasay Adventist Church, for the warm welcome every time I attend Sabbath services. Who would have thought that an average student like me would be able to graduate from one of the most renowned and reputable universities in our country? Not to mention that I missed my classes on Saturdays! God is indeed merciful and generous to His people.
I want to thank my professors who permitted me to take special exams that were supposedly on Sabbath. Doctor Beng Mortel and Doctor Ants Cordero! I will never forget you all.
Thank you to my friends for letting me borrow your lecture notes that I missed during Sabbath.
To my Nanay (mother), who has dementia. I know that you are very proud of me. Thank you also to my siblings for the support and motivation. I love you all.
And above all else, I wanted to lift and glorify our Almighty Father. It is all because of God that I have come this far and achieved this milestone in my life. When I felt incompetent and was afraid of the possibility of failing, You assured me of your promise in Isaiah 41:13 that says, “For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.” Thank you, Lord! All praises and glory be to Your name.
It’s official.
For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.”
There had been many instances in my life where I felt insecure. I want to share how God has helped me come to my senses—like literally, to make me understand and change my perspective on how I see myself.
I was an NBSB or No Boyfriend Since Birthfor more than twenty years. Throughout those years, I thought to myself, “what is wrong with me?” I ask myself and my friends, “Am I ugly? Am I not pretty enough to attract a guy?” What was more frustrating to me was when my friends and other people tell me these cliché lines:
“You are pretty, but why is it that you’re still single?”
“Maybe you are very picky?”
“You look so stern. Maybe they are intimidated by you. You have to smile always.”
“Maybe your standards are too high.”
“You look okay, you’re beautiful but why you’re still single, even those who are not that good-looking have boyfriends, why is it that you didn’t have?”
I understand that some of them were just curious. However, their comments add up to my insecurity and wonderment about not having a romantic relationship. Mostly I replied to those who asked me, “Maybe it is not yet time; it could be that they find me intimidating, for which reason I have no idea.”
I was insecure about my appearance. Maybe I was not good enough. Sometimes, I ask my closest friends what could be wrong with me? I also ask God, “What’s wrong with me, Lord? What do I need to do or change?”
Finally, the time came when God allowed me to be in a relationship. However, all of it did not work out. The last relationship I had was the most painful. I deeply loved my ex-boyfriend. Unfortunately, he told me that he fell out of love. I had no choice but to let him go. It was painful but I knew that God helped me sever that relationship. The relationship was doomed, to begin with. We were of a different faith. We were not equally yoked. Thus, God closed the door for us for He knew that I would not do anything to end our relationship. God is so good. Despite the pain of the breakup, it was indeed necessary. Sometimes we make our own storm but God being so good is always ready to rescue you. He saved me from the unseen misery that our relationship may bring. There were many times I prayed for our relationship to work but, my prayer was wrong. It was not His will. God must have said that enough is enough and I praise Him for that.
I was broken-hearted and cried out to God all my frustrations, sadness, and the pain of being rejected. I also cried because of His goodness towards me. He delivered me from such a relationship. God protected me from falling any deeper in love, which would equate to more hurt. God is good. I felt embarrassed and ashamed of my decisions, yet I praise God for His tender mercies and compassion towards me. By disobeying God, I knew in my heart that I have had hurt Him, the One whose love for me is so profound.
It took me some time to move on. One day, I was in the mall with my friend. I saw many good-looking girls, with very nice figures, and all. When I went home, I talked to God and told Him about my insecurities. In my prayer, I said, “Lord, am I not good enough? Maybe my ex found someone better, prettier, taller, and sexier. Lord, am I ugly? I do not understand, Lord. You said that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. But why do I feel so ugly? Why do people reject me?” I fell deep into incertitude, so I reached out to God because I could not bear such overwhelming low self-esteem.
You are very beautiful, very beautiful…”
The night after I prayed, I went to my friend’s home to record a song for our church service. Before heading to their home, we decided to get some treats. As soon as we finished our dessert, we checked out and went. We were halfway to my friend’s house when a guy was chasing us. He was rushing towards us and was calling me out with a loud voice, “Miss! Excuse me, Miss!” I was puzzled. Maybe I might have left some of my belongings in the shop, I thought. We halted and waited for him to catch up. When this guy reached us, he was gasping for air and said politely,“Ijust wanna tell you that you are very beautiful, very beautiful, he repeated. I was dumbfounded! I was caught off guard. I did not expect that to come out of his mouth. With all respect I replied, “thank you!” And he left just like that. My friend and I were left confused for some time and smiled. Then after a few moments, I remembered my prayer the other night and told my friend about it. I am convinced that that was God’s way of clearing my doubts. His way of encouraging me, through a stranger.
Your feelings are not always the truth...
It seemed like God used that person to tell me that I am not ugly. God assured me that I am very beautiful for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. What happened made me realize that God hears and answers our prayers. He also cares for our feelings. The book of Psalm 34:18 tells us that, “The Lord is close to the broken-hearted; and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” God comforted me with the words that I needed to hear. I could not believe that He used that person to tell me those words that would put an end to my doubts. God understands us more than ourselves. Months passed. I reflected on what the pastor said in his message, saying, “your feelings are not always the truth.” I remembered that incident when I was in despair, feeling dejected, and miserable about myself.
God is so patient in dealing with me. He chastised me and corrected me gently. He broadened my perspective. What God taught me about my experience were the following:
Time. God made me realize that there is time for everything. Getting into a relationship is not a race nor of ‘face-value’. Some may have married at a young age, in their thirties, forties, etc. But all are in God’s perfect timing. Allow God to set everything in place in His own time. Before, I used to get pressured because of my family and friends. But now, I have matured enough and learned that God’s timing is different from ours. If there are delays, there must be a reason and purpose behind them. We have to learn how to wait on the Lord and exercise on how to be patient.
Relationship. God blesses your relationship if it is according to His will. You will never be truly happy unless you choose God first, including your relationship. Also, we have to ask God if it is His will for you to be single or married.
Love. Love is a principle. It is not driven merely by attraction (physical appearance). It is not just a feeling. Love is about God. A speaker once said, “in a relationship, you must have God’s love in you and you should be ready to share that love with your partner.” We do not love on our own, we love because God first loved us. More importantly, God is love. We can only truly love if we know God.
God loves you. He loves you so much that He will not let you become miserable. He will save you and deliver you from anything that will eventually hurt you. Jesus is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. He knows the future. He knows what would happen if I would continue that relationship.
Pray. In prayer, we have to surrender to God everything – our feelings, hurts, pain, happiness, relationships, career, family, plans, and our own will. The scripture tells us, “Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established. (Provers 16:3). God loves to hear and answer our prayers. You may look into these beautiful verses– Psalm 116:1-2 and Psalm 66:19.
Our heart is deceitful.In my experience, I was feeling ugly, worthless, and unworthy to be loved. But, it is not always the TRUTH. Many Bible verses contradict such ‘feelings’ such as Jeremiah 31:3, Psalm 139:14; John 3:16, Isaiah 43:4… Oh, so many words of love from God.7. Let God write your love story for you. After all, He is the best author.
I am not an expert on love. But, these are the testimonies and learnings that I could share with you and how God has been patient and good to me. There will be more reflections in our walk of life with our God.
As I gaze upon the sky, I marveled at God’s creation. God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also (Genesis 1:16).
The beauty of these creations never cease to make me feel in awe. Creations that remind me of hope. Indeed, God’s expression of love is found everywhere. When we get tired of the day’s toiling, God designed the sun to set. We have a caring God that promises us a peaceful rest. Isn’t He amazing? The moonlight that the moon reflects is like God’s light during our darkest nights. He promised us that though weeping may endure for a night, joy cometh in the morning (Psalm 30:5). And of course, at nighttime, we love to stare at the night sky. What do the stars say about God? For me, the uncountable stars are like His uncountable thoughts and blessings towards us. And when mornings come, God renews our strength. As the sun rises, it is a gentle declaration of God’s love which grows sweeter every single day and His protection (Psalm 84:11) that He bestows to His people. Light is sweet, and it is pleasant for the eyes to see the sun (Ecclesiastes 11:7).
Whatever form of light we see in the sky, these lights cannot compare to the light that Jesus radiates. If these creations give light in our sky, how much more our Creator? In the new Jerusalem that the Lord God will create, there will be no more night. There will be no need for candles nor the light of the sun, for the Lord God giveth them light. and they shall reign forever (Revelation 22:5). No longer will the sun be your light by day, and the brightness of the moon will not shine on you; for the LORD will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your splendor (Isaiah 60:19). Jesus Christ is the bright and morning star (Revelation 22:16). His glory outshines any form of light for He is brighter than the sun.
This is my first time writing a testimony. There are many instances that my fellow churchmates requested me if I can share a testimony in church, but I never testified, not even once. Not because I don’t have a story to share but simply because I have stage fright. However, I praise and thank God that somebody asked me to give a testimony during this pandemic crisis. I am glad that during these days of lockdown/quarantine period, a friend of mine asked me to share how God and prayer works in my life.
This COVID-19 pandemic has affected the whole world, and I am not exempted, unfortunately. I worked in a nursery school here in Dubai. Because of this pandemic, the government mandated to close the nursery schools. And, last March 2020, our company decided to have its employees on furlough. I started to worry. My family back in the Philippines needed my financial support. What will happen to us if I will not generate an income? How will I be able to support them while I am on unpaid leave? How will I be able to pay my rent? How can I buy food? Aside from my financial problem, my employment visa was also my concern. It was due to expire in April 2020. I wouldn’t be able to renew it since the school would be closed indefinitely. Fortunately, the UAE government allowed the expatriates to stay in the country until December 2020 even if their employment visa has expired. At the very least, my visa will not be a concern anymore. With this, I would be able to find work even if my visa has expired.
There was a time that I received a text message from our company/owner. It was mentioned in the text that they are offering part-time jobs to their staff who are on unpaid leave. I was happy to receive such a message. However, taking that part-time job would mean risking my health since the workplace will be in a Covid-19 testing clinic. My concern was, there’s no guarantee that the company will shoulder our medical expenses in case we will be contracted with the disease. Yes, I needed money but I couldn’t afford to risk my life. So, I confided to my housemates regarding the job offer and, they raised their concerns if ever I will take the job. First, the company didn’t offer free accommodation, which would mean that I will stay in my current flat and, there’s a chance that if I will get infected, they will be at risk too. Second, the company won’t be giving insurance to part-timers. Having heard their feedback, I have decided not to take the job offer. It was a tough decision for me to make because, again, I thought, how would I survive without an income? Yet, I reckoned that life is more important than money. I cried that night and prayed to God and asked Him what will happen to me and my family now that I had an offer, but I rejected it. I was feeling perplexed. In my prayer, I always say to God that it is not my will but His will be done in my life.
God hears and answers our prayers. When I was praying for food, God provided me food through my housemates who are working from home. They share with me their food every single day. For them, their giving of food was just a small thing, but for me, it was a big help. I thank God and praise Him.
A month after I was offered a part-time job, another opportunity knocked on my door. Unfortunately, this job requires me to work on Saturday. And so, again, I declined the job offer because I don’t work on Saturdays as I am a Seventh-day Adventist. Saturday is our Sabbath day. Every night, I cried as I pray because of the burden on how to pay my house rent. I couldn’t sleep for more than one month. I was so down to the point that I became depressed. Whenever I was asked a task for our online ministry, I couldn’t take the responsibility because I couldn’t concentrate nor focus on anything that I do. I was feeling hopeless at that time. Sometimes, I was thinking to myself that maybe it would be better if I would just go back home to the Philippines, but what saddened me was the thought of going back home penniless, no savings at all.
Problems after problems. Worries after worries.
On top of the financial problems that I was facing, my sister, who is in the Philippines, told me about an impending problem in our family. That was the heaviest burden to bear. It was the worst problem in our family. When I heard the news, the first thing I did was to pray because panicking wouldn’t help. I couldn’t imagine how stressed my sister was. I just told her to keep calm and pray to God. Pray on how to solve our family problem, and give us the wisdom to help us make a wise decision. Until now, that family problem that we are having is still not fixed. We are still praying for it and hoping that God will solve it at the right time. (I’m sorry if I couldn’t share it in detail.) That family problem of ours has taken a toll on me
Those sleepless nights anxieties, depressions, and hopelessness led me to have suicidal thoughts. I was thinking that maybe the solution to my problem is to end my life. But God is good all the time. He sends me people who helped me by sending me inspirational messages and inquiring about my condition. They also keep on sending me morning and evening devotionals, which helped me uplift my spirit. Reading the word of God and praying every day soothed and eased my burdened heart. I realized that I’ve been of little faith, especially when I had suicidal thoughts. I was embarrassed to God and asked for forgiveness. I thank the Lord God that even if we are unfaithful to Him, He is faithful to us. When I was on a brink of giving up, God lifted me up.
Blessings after blessings.
One day, a miracle happened. Someone gave me monetary assistance and with groceries too! Finally, I could pay my house rent! Not only that, but I was also given help from the church that I am in and from the Philippine Embassy (Abu Dhabi). I always cry with joy and gladness every time I receive any form of help from people. It is heartwarming when God answers your prayers if you put your trust in Him.
Relief goods that I received from friends and strangers. God is good!
I am so blessed that I belong in the Seventh-day Adventist Church, a church where the people are helping each other and are praying for one another. I praise God that He sustains my needs even if I don’t have work. Sometimes I am tempted to accept the job offer which has work on Saturdays because, nursery schools might not open so soon. But I reckoned that I’ve been here in Dubai for six years. I experienced and overcame a lot of obstacles, challenges, and problems. God helped me through it all. He never left my side. We have to have faith and trust in Him. My colleagues always ask me questions like—Why I didn’t take the job? How will I survive without work? My response to them was that I couldn’t afford to disobey God who provides my needs by compromising the Sabbath day. God specifically said in the fourth commandment to remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy.
God is in control of everything. I will end this testimony with a passage from 2 John 1:3 which says, “Grace be with you, mercy, and peace, from God the Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father, in truth and love.”
I hope that you learned something from my experience. Praise and glory be to our faithful God.
I AM WITH YOU 