Tag: God

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Feelings and the Truth

rebekahhime

When I was in the office, I thought I was okay. The day went smoothly as usual. But when I got home, that’s when I realized the pain of unfairness and injustice in the corporate world.

It was at home that the realization truly sank in—an incredibly painful surge of emotion for which no words are needed; only tears continued to pour down my cheeks.

I felt unworthy, unseen, and undervalued in the company.

Why do I feel this?

I recently found myself struggling with feelings of being undervalued after the decision was made to hire an external candidate for a senior role rather than promoting from within.

It is easy to get discouraged when your company hires someone younger than you for a senior role, especially when that person has zero experience in your line of business. Not to mention that you have given years of dedication and built significant experience in the company.

It was initially a difficult situation to process, and I felt quite discouraged.

I just can’t understand why I feel so bad. So many negative emotions are swirling inside me. Reality hits me hard. There are companies that do not nurture their existing employees but instead hire new ones. It feels like a slap in the face. Perhaps it is pride? Regardless, I really feel that it is unfair.

When I told my friend about my current situation, she asked me questions I could not dare to answer: “How do you feel about it? Are you okay being trampled on?”

It is easy to feel that you are not enough, that you are worthless.

I kept on crying. I didn’t want to go to the office the next day.

After taking some time for reflection, I found peace by refocusing on my faith and core values. I have come to realise that while corporate dynamics can be challenging, my personal worth is not defined solely by my professional title.

To be honest, I didn’t feel like going to the office the next day, but I realized that even if my company doesn’t see my worth and my efforts, even if they will not nurture me, I have a God who sees me. I have a God who is not done with me yet.

Sometimes, even when you don’t feel it, you must remember the truth that your worth is found in God. That is a fact, even if you don’t feel it at times.

My value is not based on the job I have; my value is in Christ.

And no, even if I am currently discouraged by my situation, I will still do my job to the best of my ability, not for man but for the Lord. After all, God is my true employer. He is my source of everything.

The world we live in is corrupted by sin. Therefore, injustice, pain, envy, pride, and politics are inevitable.

The world may see you as unworthy, but God values you so much that He gave up His only begotten Son. And Jesus gave up His life for you.

Eventually, I sobered up. I still feel the pain, but it is not as intense as before. I cried to God and sang the scripture song from Psalm 25:1-2.

I may be down in the dumps, but I cannot wallow further in these negative feelings, for it is dangerous.

I praise God for His promise that He is with me. He not only told me but commanded me to be strong and of good courage, for He is with me (Joshua 1:9, one of my favorite verses).

I just pray for my breakthrough. It may not be today, it may not be someday, but one day. I know God is working on it.

Christian Walk, Faith, God, Miracles, Success Story, Testimony, triumph, True Story

God Works in Mysterious Ways

rebekahhime

I really do not know where and how to start my testimony because I felt that God has always been in everything that happened in my life. My parents used to tell us that there was a time when my mother experienced bleeding while she was pregnant with me, and they thought that she would have a miscarriage. However, God allowed that little life growing inside her womb to enjoy the abundance of His blessings and love within a family. And so, here I am now, alive and saved by God’s grace!  You may be worried that I would be telling you a long autobiography but fret not because I will not take so much of your time and what I will be sharing with you is the latest miracle that I have received. “Miracle” may be an overstatement, but I could not even describe the right words that transpired my recent experience, and since it happened beyond human faculties, thus, I can only perceive it as such.

Last 2020, I graduated from my MS degree. It took me four years to finish the course. It was a long, arduous but fulfilling journey. I initially planned to resign from my current work and go back to my hometown after completing my master’s program. However, nothing truly satiates a man’s ego. I desired to continue my graduate studies, and with the onset of the pandemic that year, I decided to stay because it was difficult to travel and find a job in the province. I prayed and confessed to God my heart’s desire. At that time, two of my workmates had just recently left for South Korea to study in the same university. So, I also chose to apply for Ph.D. in that same institution. I sent e-mails to prospective research advisers, but none replied. I was not discouraged, I prayed and continued to secure the requirements for my application.

Then one day, a scholarship advertisement popped out on my newsfeed on Facebook. The said graduate scholarship was offered by an Australian university. I was not really interested at first, but I told my sister about it. She encouraged me to try because maybe, South Korea is not for me. I was reluctant because I thought that Australia is too far, but I applied anyway. The first step of the application was to select a research adviser from a faculty list. I really prayed and asked God’s guidance on who to choose then I came across a professor whose research area impressed me. I e-mailed him but received no reply then I sent another mail. Unlike the previous professors in South Korea to whom I e-mailed for the second time, that professor replied and gave his endorsement for my application. I did not pursue my application in South Korea because I have to take an English proficiency test and I did not have enough money for it. I submitted my application for that university in Australia in November of 2020. I waited six months for the results.

I was seeing myself that by July 2021, I will be leaving and starting my Ph.D. in that university. I always included it in my prayers. As the days were approaching the deadline of the results, it dawned on me that the scholarship grant is not enough to get me into Australia because it does not cover pre-departure expenses and if ever, I qualify, the allowance will only be released upon the arrival of the student at the university. At the back of my mind, I was having some doubts. So, I prayed to God and told Him of my worries about the expensive visa processing, deposit for my on-campus accommodation, quarantine costs, and the pocket money while traveling. Every day, I was hopeful that God will answer my prayers. Then came the month of May and the results were out. I did not qualify. That day was really heart-wrenching. I thought that my efforts to complete the requirements were wasted. I inquired the registrar about it, and they explained that there were no available scholarships for my course that would suit my research and advised me that I can still proceed with an admission application for Ph.D. candidature. I informed my adviser and the faculty about the scholarship outcome. My adviser told me that his research funds cannot help to support me in my studies and advised me to apply for external funding. I did not give up. I continued my application for a Ph.D. candidature and fortunately, a foreign scholarship in our agency was offered at that time. I received the admission offer in June 2021 then I proceeded with my scholarship application in our office. This time again, I waited for six months. According to the posted schedule, there was supposed to be an interview for the applicants in November.

I gradually became anxious because I did not receive an e-mail about it. So, I regularly made follow-ups every week from mid-November until the first week of December. On the 6th day of December, I received an e-mail that the research council endorsed the approval of my application. I was also instructed to prepare a budget proposal for the funding. The news delighted me and my family. More than a week had passed but there was no feedback on the result of the final evaluation. I e-mailed the scholarship administrator. I was hopeful that the result is positive, but I slightly doubted that my application will be approved because the total amount I estimated in my budget proposal was quite large due to my tuition fee. True enough, my application was rejected because my proposed budget was considerably higher than the scholarship grant, even though my research proposal passed the council’s assessment. Right at that moment I received the e-mail, several emotions were swelling over me but there’s no way I could let it out for I was working at that time in the office. I felt numb and the thought that I was rejected had not completely sunk in me. I suddenly felt tired and stopped from what I was doing then I went home early that day.

As soon I got home, I informed our agency’s director and my adviser. Our director immediately replied. She told me that we would review and revised my budget proposal and that she would write a letter for reconsideration. I was comforted by the support she provided. I waited for my adviser’s reply, but no message came. I prayed and asked God to show His will because I was confused about what He really wanted to happen. I thought that if it was not His plan for me to pursue a Ph.D. then he should not have answered my previous prayers for an adviser and the endorsement from the research council. In other words, I complained and confessed my frustrations because He allowed me to wait for one year and then be disappointed in the end. As I woke up early the following day, I received an e-mail from my adviser. He explained that He was not able to immediately reply because He looked for any possible ways to help me. He discussed my situation with the faculty so that I will be given a scholarship for free tuition. He told me not to worry and enjoy my vacation because my tuition fee will certainly be waived and if ever, my application in our agency will not be reconsidered then he will be the one to fund my living allowance. I could not help but be amazed as I was reading his e-mail. I did not expect him to help me that far because at first, he told me that his research fund was limited. I wondered what made him change his mind. I realized that everything was turned on in my favor in less than 24 hours and there’s only one being who can make all these things possible.

I thought He was silent, but it was I who was impatient. God had been quietly working to set everything in place for me. In the first month of this year, I received the scholarship offer for free tuition from the university. It helped me to reduce the total amount of my proposed budget. I submitted the revised budget proposal with the letter for reconsideration from our director. Though things seemed to be working smoothly, I was still worried that my application will not be reconsidered. There were no e-mails for a month about the outcome.

Again, my patience was fading each day. But this time, I had put my faith in God’s will that if He will not allow it then I’m asking that He’ll give me strength to move on. Often, I woke up at dawn and speak with Him. One time, I asked God to tell me what to do. After I prayed, I closed my eyes and opened the bible. As I opened my eyes, I read a part of the verse where my finger was pointing. It was in Isaiah 49:23 and it says “I Am the LORD: for they shall not be ashamed that wait for me”. After that encounter, I chose not to worry anymore for God’s promises never fail. As in the days of old, His words surely come to pass. One morning, as I was in a rush preparing to leave for work, I received an e-mail, and attached were the notice of award and the scholarship certification. Before I phone-called my family, I knelt in prayer and thanked God for everything He had done. The grant awarded will provide me allowances for my pre-departure expenses, book and relocation allowance, health/accident insurance, school fees, and an advanced release of my stipend. Since I was given free tuition scholarship by the university, I had already received my Confirmation of Enrolment which is required for visa processing. I am just now waiting for the release of my grant from our agency to apply for the visa. Thinking back on all that had happened, I realized that God never missed a single item of my requests a year ago. I felt ashamed, humbled, and blessed.

I hope this story of mine can inspire and encourage others to dream, hope, and trust God’s purpose in our life.

I Am the LORD: for they shall not be ashamed that wait for me“

Isaiah 49:23
Christian Walk, Faith, God, Reflections, Testimony, Uncategorized

Lest We Forget

rebekahhime

Have you ever been in a situation where you were extremely stressed about solving your problem? Oftentimes, being independent as I am, I always try to solve my problems by myself. As much as possible, I don’t seek help from others as long as I deem it solvable by myself. I always tell myself, “I can do this.” When we try to solve a problem, we look deeper to understand it and eventually find a solution. However, as I focus more on the problem and try to figure it out, the more I get frustrated.

January is my birth month. I wanted to celebrate my birthday with my family and friends. However, the supposed resources for my budget didn’t materialize because of some unexpected circumstances. As my day gets nearer, the more I get perplexed. I started to get worried.  I tried to solve my problem my way but couldn’t seem to find a solution. I poured out my anxieties to God. I couldn’t help but cry out of my helplessness. After praying, I come across some motivational videos which say, “seek ye first the kingdom of God (Matthew 6:33).” As I watched more videos from that page, I heard a song with lyrics that say,

“Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full on his wonderful face..

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim

In the light of His glory and grace…”

My tears were pouring as I realized, how could I be so proud by trying so hard to be self-reliant! God reminded me that instead of focusing on the problem, I need to turn my focus to God. The more you focus on your problems, the more your problem gets magnified, and find yourself overwhelmed. Instead of seeking solutions to your problem, seek God first.

When it dawned upon me, I surrendered to God my problems. God helped me realize that He is in control. That I should not worry if things get out of hand if things didn’t go as planned. God made me understand the deeper meaning of His word when He said, “come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28)”. That night I told God, “Lord, here are my problems, I could not handle it anymore, please take care of it.” I said to myself, I should have surrendered it from the start. After surrendering to God everything, I decided not to care about it anymore because that is how it’s supposed to be. Do not leave any worries for yourself. Give it all to God. Leave it to God. That’s why people say, “Let go and let God.” That night I was able to sleep well. The next morning, lo and behold, a friend of mine messaged me and asked me if I was interested to do a side job. I was amazed at how God has solved my problems. He paved a way for me, and He even gave me more blessings. Blessings overflowed, and so does God’s love and mercy. He gave me more than what I asked for, more than what I expected.

When storms arise, may we not be shaken. May we remember the God, our Father in Heaven who is omniscient and omnipotent. He is our Father who cares for us. I praise God because when I forgot His promises and His instructions, He did not hesitate to remind me that He is my Father who loves me and promised to take care of me.

In this experience, God did not just remind me about His promises, He also taught me how to humble myself in His presence. He taught me that I should put my trust in and on Him, to trust Him completely, with all my heart (Proverbs 3:5-6). That I should not rely on my own strength for I am weak.  That I am just a human, a finite being, but I can rest my hope to Him, a God who is also my Father whose wisdom and power are infinite and unmeasurable. A God who can do things that are impossible to man. And, above all, a loving Father who does not want to let His child get astray if he forgets his way.

Christian Walk, Covid-19, Faith, God, Reflections, Uncategorized

Shalom

rebekahhime

Last year, during the lockdown period due to COVID-19 in the UAE, I stayed at my relatives’ residence for some time. After few days from moving in, I noticed that my skin had red patches. My entire skin was very itchy. I had rashes. I don’t have any food allergies, so I was wondering what was happening. I decided to observe my skin. Days passed, I hoped that the rashed would eventually disappear. Unfortunately, it didn’t. That’s when I decided to go to the clinic to get checked. Because it was the height of the pandemic, my uncle was EXTRA cautious of anything concerning COVID-19. He was concerned that I might have had COVID. He told me that he read an article that says that rashes are one of the symptoms of COVID. I understand his concern and what he was implying, but I think otherwise. I was more concerned about my allergy. I needed to know the cause of it. I gathered up my courage to ask permission from my uncle because he is so strict about stepping outside the house! I remembered this passage in the Bible which says, “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7).” I held on to that promise and prayed to God to grant my uncle peace from worrying about the possibility of me having COVID, which would mean that I could put them at risk.

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.“

I visited the nearest clinic, and I was diagnosed with contact dermatitis. I had contact dermatitis before, and I knew that it was because of the soap that I was using. My uncle enquires about my check-up. I was relieved to tell him the good news! The issue was minor, and that he has nothing to worry about it. The next day after my check-up, I received a message from my uncle that his result from the swab test was negative. I was surprised why he sent me his results. I found out that their company arranged a regular PCR test for all their staff yesterday as well. Silently, I told myself, “praise the Lord!”

Indeed, God gave me peace — peace of mind from Covid and the cause of my rashes! What are the things that bother you? No matter how big or trivial our worries may be, God has the power to quiet our troubled mind and soul. He can easily still the tempest storms in our lives. So, worry no more because our Lord Jesus Christ can give us the peace that we ever desired. He wants us to cast all our worries to Him, for He cares about us. God is the source of our peace, a kind of peace that passeth all understanding. No wonder why He is also named the Prince of Peace. Shalom!

Christian Walk, Faith, God, Reflections, Success Story, Testimony, True Story, Uncategorized

GOD WILL MAKE A WAY

rebekahhime

Out of 160 doctors of Doctors to the Barrios (DTTB) batch 36, who come from different places and universities of the Philippines, I was the only Seventh-day Adventist believer. My journey in undertaking Masters in Public Health degree at the University of the Philippines-Manila was not easy. There were always Saturday classes, and some subjects did not allow me to take special exams, quizzes, or laboratory activities. In fact, I struggled a lot and got worried several times. I know that I am not intelligent enough, and worse, I would miss my academic requirements.

Sabbath should be a peaceful day, yet during my postgraduate days, I had no peace. I was bothered because of Saturday classes. As a matter of fact, there had been many times that I got tempted to attend the said classes, which would mean polluting the Sabbath. In my mind, I was thinking, “Lord, if I would miss my classes and knowing that I am not intelligent, how could I catch up with my lessons and requirements? Should I attend the class instead?” In my confusion, God intervened. He gave me the courage and walked me to church to worship Him. I did not worry about missing the classes anymore. With due respect to my professors, I asked them permission not to attend the classes on Saturdays. And by God’s grace, I was excused. I stopped worrying. I find myself every Saturday morning busy preparing for church while my classmates were busy with the day’s activities.

Thank you, Pasay Adventist Church, for the warm welcome every time I attend Sabbath services. Who would have thought that an average student like me would be able to graduate from one of the most renowned and reputable universities in our country? Not to mention that I missed my classes on Saturdays! God is indeed merciful and generous to His people.

I want to thank my professors who permitted me to take special exams that were supposedly on Sabbath. Doctor Beng Mortel and Doctor Ants Cordero! I will never forget you all.

Thank you to my friends for letting me borrow your lecture notes that I missed during Sabbath.

To my Nanay (mother), who has dementia. I know that you are very proud of me. Thank you also to my siblings for the support and motivation. I love you all.

And above all else, I wanted to lift and glorify our Almighty Father. It is all because of God that I have come this far and achieved this milestone in my life. When I felt incompetent and was afraid of the possibility of failing, You assured me of your promise in Isaiah 41:13 that says, “For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.” Thank you, Lord! All praises and glory be to Your name.

It’s official.

For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.”

breakup, Christian Walk, Faith, Friendship, God, heartache, moving on, Reflections, Relationships, Testimony, True Story, Uncategorized

BEAUTIFUL IN GOD’S EYES

rebekahhime

There had been many instances in my life where I felt insecure. I want to share how God has helped me come to my senses—like literally, to make me understand and change my perspective on how I see myself.

I was an NBSB or No Boyfriend Since Birth for more than twenty years. Throughout those years, I thought to myself, “what is wrong with me?” I ask myself and my friends, “Am I ugly? Am I not pretty enough to attract a guy?” What was more frustrating to me was when my friends and other people tell me these cliché lines:

“You are pretty, but why is it that you’re still single?”
“Maybe you are very picky?”
“You look so stern. Maybe they are intimidated by you. You have to smile always.”
“Maybe your standards are too high.” 
“You look okay, you’re beautiful but why you’re still single, even those who are not that good-looking have boyfriends, why is it that you didn’t have?”

I understand that some of them were just curious. However, their comments add up to my insecurity and wonderment about not having a romantic relationship. Mostly I replied to those who asked me, “Maybe it is not yet time; it could be that they find me intimidating, for which reason I have no idea.”

I was insecure about my appearance. Maybe I was not good enough. Sometimes, I ask my closest friends what could be wrong with me? I also ask God, “What’s wrong with me, Lord? What do I need to do or change?”

Finally, the time came when God allowed me to be in a relationship. However, all of it did not work out. The last relationship I had was the most painful. I deeply loved my ex-boyfriend. Unfortunately, he told me that he fell out of love. I had no choice but to let him go. It was painful but I knew that God helped me sever that relationship. The relationship was doomed, to begin with. We were of a different faith. We were not equally yoked. Thus, God closed the door for us for He knew that I would not do anything to end our relationship. God is so good. Despite the pain of the breakup, it was indeed necessary. Sometimes we make our own storm but God being so good is always ready to rescue you. He saved me from the unseen misery that our relationship may bring. There were many times I prayed for our relationship to work but, my prayer was wrong. It was not His will. God must have said that enough is enough and I praise Him for that.

I was broken-hearted and cried out to God all my frustrations, sadness, and the pain of being rejected. I also cried because of His goodness towards me. He delivered me from such a relationship. God protected me from falling any deeper in love, which would equate to more hurt. God is good. I felt embarrassed and ashamed of my decisions, yet I praise God for His tender mercies and compassion towards me. By disobeying God, I knew in my heart that I have had hurt Him, the One whose love for me is so profound.

It took me some time to move on. One day, I was in the mall with my friend. I saw many good-looking girls, with very nice figures, and all. When I went home, I talked to God and told Him about my insecurities. In my prayer, I said, “Lord, am I not good enough? Maybe my ex found someone better, prettier, taller, and sexier. Lord, am I ugly? I do not understand, Lord. You said that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. But why do I feel so ugly? Why do people reject me?” I fell deep into incertitude, so I reached out to God because I could not bear such overwhelming low self-esteem.

You are very beautiful, very beautiful…”

The night after I prayed, I went to my friend’s home to record a song for our church service. Before heading to their home, we decided to get some treats. As soon as we finished our dessert, we checked out and went. We were halfway to my friend’s house when a guy was chasing us. He was rushing towards us and was calling me out with a loud voice, “Miss! Excuse me, Miss!” I was puzzled. Maybe I might have left some of my belongings in the shop, I thought. We halted and waited for him to catch up. When this guy reached us, he was gasping for air and said politely, “I just wanna tell you that you are very beautiful, very beautiful, he repeated. I was dumbfounded! I was caught off guard. I did not expect that to come out of his mouth. With all respect I replied, “thank you!” And he left just like that. My friend and I were left confused for some time and smiled. Then after a few moments, I remembered my prayer the other night and told my friend about it. I am convinced that that was God’s way of clearing my doubts. His way of encouraging me, through a stranger.

Your feelings are not always the truth...

It seemed like God used that person to tell me that I am not ugly. God assured me that I am very beautiful for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. What happened made me realize that God hears and answers our prayers. He also cares for our feelings. The book of Psalm 34:18 tells us that, “The Lord is close to the broken-hearted; and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” God comforted me with the words that I needed to hear. I could not believe that He used that person to tell me those words that would put an end to my doubts. God understands us more than ourselves. Months passed. I reflected on what the pastor said in his message, saying, “your feelings are not always the truth.” I remembered that incident when I was in despair, feeling dejected, and miserable about myself.

God is so patient in dealing with me. He chastised me and corrected me gently. He broadened my perspective. What God taught me about my experience were the following:

  • Time. God made me realize that there is time for everything. Getting into a relationship is not a race nor of ‘face-value’. Some may have married at a young age, in their thirties, forties, etc. But all are in God’s perfect timing. Allow God to set everything in place in His own time. Before, I used to get pressured because of my family and friends. But now, I have matured enough and learned that God’s timing is different from ours. If there are delays, there must be a reason and purpose behind them. We have to learn how to wait on the Lord and exercise on how to be patient.
  • Relationship. God blesses your relationship if it is according to His will. You will never be truly happy unless you choose God first, including your relationship. Also, we have to ask God if it is His will for you to be single or married.
  • Love. Love is a principle. It is not driven merely by attraction (physical appearance). It is not just a feeling. Love is about God. A speaker once said, “in a relationship, you must have God’s love in you and you should be ready to share that love with your partner.” We do not love on our own, we love because God first loved us. More importantly, God is love. We can only truly love if we know God.
  • God loves you. He loves you so much that He will not let you become miserable. He will save you and deliver you from anything that will eventually hurt you. Jesus is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. He knows the future. He knows what would happen if I would continue that relationship.
  • Pray. In prayer, we have to surrender to God everything – our feelings, hurts, pain, happiness, relationships, career, family, plans, and our own will. The scripture tells us, “Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established. (Provers 16:3). God loves to hear and answer our prayers. You may look into these beautiful verses– Psalm 116:1-2 and Psalm 66:19.
  • Our heart is deceitful. In my experience, I was feeling ugly, worthless, and unworthy to be loved. But, it is not always the TRUTH. Many Bible verses contradict such ‘feelings’ such as Jeremiah 31:3, Psalm 139:14; John 3:16, Isaiah 43:4… Oh, so many words of love from God.7. Let God write your love story for you. After all, He is the best author.

I am not an expert on love. But, these are the testimonies and learnings that I could share with you and how God has been patient and good to me. There will be more reflections in our walk of life with our God.

author

Christian Walk, Faith, God, Reflections

You Can Face Tomorrow

rebekahhime

This year has never been easy for most of us. It may be one of the worst years in our lives. Nevertheless, we have to be thankful that despite our hardships, our silent battles, our unspoken pains, the tears shed in secret, God was there all along.

Many of us were (and still are) infected and affected with COVID-19. Some lost their loved ones. Some lost their businesses, their jobs, and even their homes. We can lose everything we possess, but we cannot afford to lose sight of God. Let’s remember that the Lord gives and takes away (Job 1:21). Whatever it is that God has taken away from you, always know and remind yourself that God never makes mistakes and He loves you so dearly.

When things don’t go our way, our human nature gets us feeling confused, dishearted, and discouraged about what is happening in our lives, especially when we don’t see God’s plan for us. And when things seem to fall apart, and when we don’t meet our goals. When life looks pitch-black to you, perhaps you are focusing on your problems. Focus your eyes on Jesus, instead. This line from a song reminds me to always look upon Jesus:

O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s light for a look at the Savior
And life more abundant and free

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace

Those lines uplift my spirit. I tried to recall and reflect on this year’s events. I realized that this year is not all that bad. I counted my problems, and as expected, God helped me make it through. My blessings were (and are!) numerous compared to my so-called “problems.” And these trials are even blessings. Perhaps we can say that we don’t have problems as it is considered a ‘blessing.’ Oh well… Maybe we need to change how we see things.

What are the good things that God gave you this year? What lessons did you learn? Let’s start with our very life. The fact that we’re still breathing is a blessing. A lot of pestilence and tribulations happened this year. But, here we are, we made it through! And that is worth saying “THANK YOU, LORD!”. We ought to praise our Lord God Almighty who made us come this far, the One who keeps us from falling (Jude 24:24), the One who sustains us, and the One who loves us the most.

The future is uncertain. We don’t know if next year will be better or worse. But with God, we have confidence that no matter how hard life may be, God will take care of us. He will hold us with His mighty hands. You have made it this far. And, definitely, you can weather any storm that may come. You can face tomorrow because God is with you.

Faith, God, Reflections

Brighter than the Sun

rebekahhime

As I gaze upon the sky, I marveled at God’s creation. God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also (Genesis 1:16).

The beauty of these creations never cease to make me feel in awe. Creations that remind me of hope. Indeed, God’s expression of love is found everywhere. When we get tired of the day’s toiling, God designed the sun to set. We have a caring God that promises us a peaceful rest. Isn’t He amazing? The moonlight that the moon reflects is like God’s light during our darkest nights. He promised us that though weeping may endure for a night, joy cometh in the morning (Psalm 30:5). And of course, at nighttime, we love to stare at the night sky. What do the stars say about God? For me, the uncountable stars are like His uncountable thoughts and blessings towards us. And when mornings come, God renews our strength. As the sun rises, it is a gentle declaration of God’s love which grows sweeter every single day and His protection (Psalm 84:11) that He bestows to His people. Light is sweet, and it is pleasant for the eyes to see the sun (Ecclesiastes 11:7).

Whatever form of light we see in the sky, these lights cannot compare to the light that Jesus radiates. If these creations give light in our sky, how much more our Creator? In the new Jerusalem that the Lord God will create, there will be no more night. There will be no need for candles nor the light of the sun, for the Lord God giveth them light. and they shall reign forever (Revelation 22:5). No longer will the sun be your light by day, and the brightness of the moon will not shine on you; for the LORD will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your splendor (Isaiah 60:19). Jesus Christ is the bright and morning star (Revelation 22:16). His glory outshines any form of light for He is brighter than the sun.

Christian Walk, Faith, God, Testimony, True Story

When God Turned a Ream of A4 Paper to Piles of Books

rebekahhime

Last year, I applied for the Special Professional Licensure Exam (SPLE) for Psychometricians in Abu Dhabi, UAE in the hopes to improve my career. I have done the requirements, and the next step was to study for review. We are blessed that nowadays, so many review materials are available within our fingertips. One example is the free e-books circulating on the internet. However, it is very strenuous to the eyes if you read e-books on your gadgets. Well, in my case, I had to print those suggested review materials given to us and that was my problem. I didn’t have a printer. I never thought of needing one since I only print in the office. Commercial printing in Dubai is quite expensive unlike in the Philippines, not to mention that you will be printing thick books!

I had already exhausted my savings just for acquiring my documents (processing and shipping fees from Dubai to the Philippines then back to Dubai). Again, I prayed to God to help me, this time with my review materials. When I finished praying, I remembered that I have a church mate who has a printer who lives nearby my flat. At least my expenses would be cut. At least I only had to buy A4 paper and ink cartridge. I contacted Alex and asked him that I would use his printer. I was so glad that he would lend me his printer. After talking to Alex, I asked my roommate Jessa to accompany me to buy the stuff for printing. I knew that I would need more A4 paper and ink cartridges. So, I decided to print first the documents that I urgently needed. With that in mind, I only bought one ream of A4 paper and an ink cartridge. After shopping, Jessa and I both agreed to stroll around the mall before heading to Alex’s place. We enjoyed window shopping so much that we lost track of time. Silly us! I told Jessa that it was already late. And, maybe Alex had gone to sleep too. I didn’t want to cause Jessa and Alex more trouble. I thought to myself that I would print the ebooks the next day instead. So, we went home. Since it was summertime in the UAE, it was very humid, even if it was already late at night. When we reached home, we got so thirsty that we hurriedly went to the pantry to drink water. Cheyser, our housemate happened to be in the pantry as well. She asked us where we’d been. And so, I told her the story.

Upon hearing my new endeavor, Cheyser was so thrilled about it. Much to my surprise, she offered me something that I was not expecting at all. She said that she would print all the e-books and review materials that I needed. I couldn’t believe my ears. I couldn’t imagine God’s providence. I didn’t see it coming at all! I thought that my plan for using Alex’s printer was a good idea. However, God gave me a better, much better solution to my ‘problem’. You see, the gesture of my housemate, Cheyser, reminded me about a scripture in Isaiah 55:8-9 which says, “for my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” I thought that my way of saving money by using Alex’s printer was good. However, God’s way was much better. Instead of buying many reams of A4 and lots of ink cartridges. God used my housemate Cheyser to print all of my review materials for FREE! Isn’t it amazing?

As Christians, we don’t believe in coincidences. We believe that we meet people for a reason and a purpose. God’s ways and plans are better than ours. And, not to mention His timing, always perfect. I was so convinced that meeting Cheyser in the pantry at that specific time (especially when Cheyser usually sleeps early) was God’s way of answering my prayer. God answered my prayer through my friend Cheyser.

There is no wonder to me why our Father is called Almighty Father. He does mighty things. He is a God of infinite possibilities. Amazing God, He truly is. I had an ear-to-ear smile and was a little bit teary-eyed when I reached home the following day seeing the printed e-books placed on our table. God is marvelous! I still couldn’t fathom how great His measures are. Marveled as I was, I touched the books as if it was treasures of gold! I felt like God was telling me, “Here Rebecca, I have had provided you ALL the things you needed. Go, study, and give your very best.”

The A4 paper that I bought (left), and the printed review materials that gave me for FREE (right).

Christian Walk, Faith, God, Testimony, True Story

Lord, Thank You for the Trials

rebekahhime

I wrote this love letter when I was on the plane going back to Dubai from the Philippines. While I recalled the moments, I remembered one of the toughest circumstances in my life. I tried to hold back my tears, yet I couldn’t contain it. Tough times caused me to shed tears of joy.

I just want to share with you how God rescued me from one of the most tremendous storms in my life. It’s been years since I became a single mother of six children and what burdens me more is that I’ve been away from them since I had to work abroad to support them. But I praise God that He sustained my family.

One day, there was something serious happened in my family that it came to the point that I had to make a tough decision. Tough in a sense that I didn’t know what would be the outcome of that decision that I made.

It was in the month of September 2019 that I received a message from my daughter which troubled me a lot and I understood how she felt because they had a traumatic experience when their father became irresponsible. While I was talking to my daughter and she told me everything that had happened. I was greatly worried when she said, “Mama! I don’t want to stay in this house. I better go and run away from this house or else I will die.” At that time, I was speechless then after a while I responded, “what’s going on?” I couldn’t work properly. I was bothered on she said daughter. I wanted to call her but I couldn’t because I was at work and was not allowed to use my mobile during working hours. I knew there was something wrong why my 12-year-old daughter thought like that. And soon after our conversation, I came to know from her siblings that she attempted suicide. I didn’t know what to do. I just sat down for a minute and I told myself that I had to go back home to the Philippines.

At that time, in my mind I prayed to the Lord. I said, “Lord, you know my situation right now. I am not financially ready to go home and send my kids to Mindanao.” I asked the Lord to give me strength to carry on and to think positively. But still I couldn’t sleep that night. I was worried about my children back home. I didn’t know what to do. Morning came and I praised God because when I approached my employer and asked for two weeks leave, she gave me permission without any hesitation and she even booked my ticket. I knew that it was hard for my boss to give me leave of absence as her roster was full at that time but she understood my situation nonetheless.

You know when you’re in an emergency situation and worse you don’t have enough means it gives you a lot of stress. That was how I felt that time. And so again, I prayed to God saying, “Lord, you know I have only one-month’s salary with me as a pocket money, it’s not enough but I need to go home. Help me how to find a way for the rest of my needs.” It was Sabbath day and I was in the church. My dearest friends invited me to join for a prayer bond. I find ways escape from them not because I don’t want to join in prayer but because I cannot hold my tears. I didn’t prevail in my plan as I was sitting with them. While praying, I kept on crying until the prayer was over. I was so thankful for my brothers and sisters in church for offering me a prayer.

The next morning Sister Jane sent me a message, it was good news. Without my knowledge, she was trying to help me sort out my needs. Indeed, God uses people as an instrument. In my case, He answered my prayer through my brethren in the church. I couldn’t forget my churchmates especially Sister Millet, Sister Hershey and her family, Brother Princely, Brother Rot, Sister Jinky, Sister Rina and to all of my brothers and sisters in Christ who prayed for me continuously. Until now, I am still very thankful to them from the bottom of my heart.

I was already set to go home for two weeks. As soon as I arrived home, I cleared all of my children’s school papers for transfer. It was really strenuous. I was so exhausted every single day. I had booked our tickets going to Mindanao and time was running out. I was not yet done with their school papers. I started to worry. I had only few days left to settle everything in Laguna. Lo, and behold, God is always on time. I got all the papers that I needed for my kids at the last minute. I praised God for His goodness! We could finally set sail to Mindanao.

Because of the time constraint, I didn’t have time to ship our things through cargo and so we had lots of luggage. Imagine, we brought all our things all the way from Laguna to Mindanao by ourselves! When we reached the seaport at 4 am, one of the officers told me that the schedule of our voyage would be delayed for 2 days. I was distressed with that bad news not to mention my exhaustion from having insufficient sleep ever since I arrived from Dubai, and from packing our stuff by myself. I have decided to sleep for a while in the pier then stay in the nearest and cheapest hotel while waiting for our voyage. Though we all slept on the bench for a short period, I was thankful to God and praised Him for our safety. Despite our situation, I could still see how happy my kids were especially the little ones.

Finally, the day had come and we boarded the ship. We traveled for one day and two nights then we reached Cagayan de Oro or commonly called CdO. Upon reaching CdO, we needed to travel four hours by bus to reach home. My mother was surprised to see us because no one told her that we were coming. She hadn’t seen me nor her grandchildren for fourteen long years. She couldn’t even recognize her grandchildren because the last time I went home, I only brought my eldest daughter who was then two years old.

Despite life’s problems, don’t forget to smile.
My children enjoying the view. First time to ride a ship.

I knew that it would be difficult for my children to adjust to their new environment especially in terms of communicating with people in their new community. All of them were born and raised in Laguna in which the dialect was Tagalog. My children had to learn Bisaya. I believe that eventually they can adapt so I keep on encouraging them.

After two weeks I had to leave them and go back to Dubai to work. I left them with a happy face. I thank God for helping me through my siblings and my church family. I also thank the Lord for my sister who pledged to take care of my children while I am away for work. Sometimes, I keep on asking why I had a lot of trials in life. But, in spite of these trials, I always keep in mind that God is always with me. And with God beside us, nothing is impossible.

  • A very special Sabbath indeed.
  • Look at those beautiful smiles!

I praise God for His promise in Joshua 1:9 which says, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage, do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord God is with you wherever you go.”  This verse gives me strength every time I am feeling down. I thank God for the trials that I had. I know in this world that we live in, there’s always problems and tribulations. But we have a God that is bigger than our problems. A God that is able and mighty. A God who is faithful and keeps His promises.

I keep on praying that God will help me to stand still whatever trials may come. May we have faith and be of good courage just like Joshua. With this, I encourage everyone to keep the faith and to pray more as we are face life’s challenges. May this testimony of mine inspires you and makes you see how wonderful our God is. God bless us all.